Anxious Hearts

When life throws a curve ball, it is natural to be overwhelmed with emotions. This time, it was not a trip to the hospital or a 911 call, but for a mother’s heart, it was just as urgent. News came of a life altering development; a decision now required to move forward. As parents, we all want what is best for our children, and I found myself grasping for information, desperately seeking knowledge to help direct the course of my son’s education.  A meeting has been called to discuss the changes, and now all that is left is to wait.

I have a lot of questions, but the one that weighs deepest on my heart is this: What is best for my child?  I reached out to other parents in an attempt to glean information, initiating conversation through social media. Many of us are upset, confused;  emotions ignited by the pressure of choices to be made. As I shared my own fears, the voice of a friend caught my attention. A simple reminder of the power of prayer… and my perspective shifted.

The choice was clear; worry and wait, or pour out that gaping anxiety into the hands of the One who holds tomorrow. Change is not always negative, really. The unknowns are certainly frightening, yet here’s a truth worth clinging to:
The same situation that shocked me into an emotional tangle does not alarm the One who knew our future before my son was born, before I was knit together in my mother’s womb, and even before time was measured. God has a plan and a purpose for my son, intentionally implemented in order to shape my child into who he was created to be! This wider scope reminds me that shifts in my plan are not just about me, or my son, or his needs and gifts. The divine design interweaves our lives with others, with those who will influence our growth, and those who God intends to draw to himself through us. Maybe it seems like it’s all about logistics, but through His creative eyes the purpose is life infusing relationships. 

Answers will come, yet for now, the task is to wait.  To place every worry in God’s capable hands, walking that well worn path to the altar, in the moment, as each concern comes up. I may go back to that place of surrender hourly, but the hope I have in the midst of change is the assurance that I can trust in God’s perfect love for my son, and for me. Perfect love casts out all fear, enveloping each of us in His tender loving care. His ways, though not my own, are best because He is self-less, and  He loves me enough to liberate me from my plans, bestowing instead those plans which give me- and my son- a hope and a future. (1 John 4:18, Jeremiah 29:11 )

So my prayer as we move forward is this: that we can cast off all fear and hear God’s voice CLEARLY. That we will remember to trust in God’s plans and purposes for our children. That we will remain confident in God, who orchestrates all things to work towards what is good and beautiful, as we move deeper into relationship with Him.  As we accept God’s invitation to live according to His plan, not our own,we can trust the One who pursues and explores the human heart intimately. For He holds our future not just in his hands, but in His heart. He seeks to build up, giving beauty where we see only ashes. Our hope in Him is always secure.

~Just Me

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2 Responses

  1. I completely related to your post on Different Dream about being too tired to heal…can you tell me the name of the devotion on inner healing you did?

  2. Stephanie,

    It is so good to remember that we are not alone in our struggles! The inner healing study is: L.I.F.E.- Living in Freedom Every Day, by Valerie Bixler.

    It is part of a ministry out of Colorado Springs, but you do not have to live there to participate. Here is the main link to the ministry:

    You can click on the 'contact us' link to the right of the page and ask about the LIFE Study. (Jim Bixler is Valerie's Husband.)

    I will be praying for you as you work through the healing process! Remember that it is a journey and it takes time- but healing IS God's purpose for you!

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