Fifteen years ago I was in a hospital room immersed in delivering life into this world. Bearing down for all I was worth until relief flooded my being and the celebration began. I was delivered into Motherhood- not quite ready for all it would bring.

Today I wait in a hospital room. My son’s steady breathing whispers next to me, and I breathe relief. The crisis is over, and, stress waning, I rest too, giving thanks for medical miracles bringing life back from the brink. I nod as truth washes over me; God is real in long hours of crisis, and in the quiet that follows. I see his touch in my heart this very day. Fatigue, too, is real, yet it wanes in light of deliverance. The work is not over- for there will be much monitoring  in the days and nights to come. Sleep will be sacrificed for watchfulness, quiet will give way to care-giving.

Despite many needs ahead, despite lack of slumber- now, and in the weeks to come- there is a restfulness found in moments like this. After the fray, after the coming and going of many medical professionals, I find my heart flooded with gratefulness for another day. Time on this earth is fleeting, I know this. I can not know how many moments are still to come, nor can I say what lies ahead, yet my heart’s desire is that my moments will be marked by gratitude. Wherever this life takes me, however time plays out, may I continually connect with my Source, the One who bears me through the rough places.

Today I breathe thanksgiving, naming so many gifts, most especially this moment. I take in the softness of a man-child’s breath, color back into warm skin, lashes on cheeks, chest rising as he rests and recovers. Today, I celebrate anew the gift of my son, and the restoration of life on the anniversary of his birth. My own plans set aside, I choose to recognize the gift of this day and find my heart is alight with many graces.
~Just Me

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